Self Doubt

Sometimes I get upset at myself if I can’t seem to get an illustration to work. I tend to try not to engulf myself into such emotions because they’re fairly counter productive.

One thing that I missed about being younger is that the future was so full of possibilities but as I get older, I realize that time is against me and I don’t have all the time in the world. Maybe it’s because I don’t have a true goal in mind. My only strive is to become a better artist. I was beginning to feel good about myself and started to try to tackle things that I felt I was lacking in.

What I need to tell myself is to keep working through it. It doesn’t look right now, so try and try again.

I’m impatient. I wish I was better now. I wish I can start working on something and confidently tell myself it’ll turn out okay. I feel like the more and more I work on a project, the further away it is from completion.

A common saying in art school was “If you do 100 paintings, only 5 will turn out well… so get those 95 shitty paintings out of the way so you can work on that 5”. HAHAHAHA.

In any way, these emotions are probably necessary. If we constantly think we’re the greatest, then we’ll never grow.

Trying to inject some humor on the subject, these stages are a whole lot like puberty. During these stages, we get rather awkward with self doubt and start to find hair where there was no hair before.

As long as we don’t give up on ourselves, maybe we’ll end up being alright and learn something new. At least that’s what I like to think.

Just gotta keep moving forward.

Update!!! (probably like 2 or 3 hours later)

In other news, I’m watching Star Driver. It makes me feel like a 16 year old fan girl with all the hot Bishonen action. Kinda like Sailor Moon, if it had mechas and Sailor Moon was a pretty boy instead.

I draw a sketch…

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One Response to Self Doubt

  1. DomRetana says:

    lol nice post man, and yeah keep working through it, sometimes its just a trail and error type or art. You always want to see the final product first but theres only one way to get there and thats by working through all the steps that sit in between.

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